about a guy

Thank you Rachel for everything..

Yaani

Last night, I was welcomed by a rushing wind and a lightly pouring rain. I found myself heading towards your door but came to realize that the lights were off. Then it finally sank in to me that you are now really gone.

With a heavy heart i walked away and headed towards my dorm. I was filled with emotions i did not know how to handle. Just when i thought i was strong enough, i am finding myself in brokeness, facing your absence. 
It has only been four days since you went away. But to me it seems like forever. I blame myself for the days i could have spent more with you but traded you for something or someone. How i wanted to get into a time machine and make it all come back. But here i find myself, wishful thinking, l am somberly pondering.
You see, i am being haunted and taunted by memories of you, most especially the last days you were here. I recall the moments i was at your dorm singing shakily, “When the daylight’s gone and you’re on your own, and you need a friend just to be around. I will comfort you, i will take your hand, i will pull you through, i will understand. Cuz’ you know that, i’ll be at your side, there’s no need to worry, together we’ll survive through the haste and the hurry, i’ll be at your side if you feel like you’re alone and you’ve nowhere to turn, i’ll be at your side. If life’s standing still, and your soul’s confused and you cannot find what road to choose. And if you make mistakes, i won’t let you down, i would still believe, i won’t turn around.” I cried like a baby when i sang that song to you. I have never ever sang wholeheartedly for anyone except when i worship. 
I am finding myself missing you more each day instead of getting used to you being gone. I read your letter everyday. I can’t stop talking about you, cannot stop uttering your name to everyone, to anyone, i tell them how much i miss my bestfriend, my buddy, my greatest companion.
I promised myself never to use any blanket unless i am away or someplace else without it or when it is in the laundry. (however, i ams till waiting for Lj to give it.)
Basil, do you remember the times we spent together? Our joyrides, our weekend visits to ATC, our movie watching, our Starbucks escapades, our sleepovers, our DVD marathons, our food trippings, the day we went to Tagaytay Zoo & Balinsasayaw, the time i wanted to have a henna tattoo of your name at my back, us playing billiards, bowling, or simply hang out at Tutoy’s? What about the laughs, the many and long dragging talks, and even the tears? Tears? Only i shed tears. *Giggle*
I also am reminded by the Ramadan days where you were fasting and we had a couple of dinners spent together. Do you remember me calling you on the phone weeping like a little child in desperation and you rushed to my dorm even when you had class?
Life just hadn’t been easy since you left. I normally knock on your door either too late at night or too early in the morn. Still, you open the door for me. Looking back, i have always enjoyed your company. I felt safe, appreciated, and understood. You accepted my ins and outs and saw the true beauty within me. With you, no pretensions, no mask, no secrets.
I know you told me to begin making new friends because you won’t be around anymore. Yes, i may find new friends but there will never ever be another Basil. It just isn’t the same. There is no other you. But i will face each new day thinking that the next day is only closer to me seeing you again. I focus and dwell on the thought that i will see you again.
I am just forever grateful to have known you, to have shared a part of my life with you, to have spent time with you. In my heart you will always be, no one has ever touched my heart like you do. Your friendship means so much to me, more than you can ever imagine. 
I miss and love you my dearest Basil Mihm Al-Obaidly. Always and Forever.